Has it happened to you? Well, that’s a silly question. It happens to everybody!
Have you been in a situation where you thought something was done and dusted and went merrily on your way knowing that you had done your best! You were happy. Content. And then bam! There is comes back with a vengeance taunting you! It bothers us that we did not do your best! It was not enough! It was all wrong! I know its really stressful, but how do we deal with it?
Three things we could do.
Awareness: To be aware that things do not always or never go right! Life will never be what you think it would be! To be aware that you did your best and you can do better if you remain calm. To be aware to forgive yourself, and understand the situation and let go. Awareness that is not all just about you!
Reaction: This is the greatest issue. We react. To everything. To anything. And then end up feeling worst and apologizing. Why? because we know it was wrong! People say do not react, but you and I know how difficult it is not to sometimes! We are humans, but unlike monkeys, we also have control over our emotions! How to deal with this? Well, first of all, get into a situation with intention. No good intention. No good outcome. Trust me in the true world this does not work always. We are human. We make mistakes. We forget unless we do not practice or incorporate it into a habit. We are creatures dominated by emotions. But while engaging in awkward conversation, it is best to practice intention over emotion. The question one could ask is, what do I really want out of this discussion? Do you want to hurt the other person? Do I want to explain how I feel to the other person? And most of all, do I want to understand the other person or am I just angry because the other person does not see my point of view! Asking such questions will change your mindset. You just want to ask, what is it that you want? These questions will trigger your mind to actually focus on what you want and then talk instead of reacting.
Change of state: By state, I mean state of mind. At first, we usually go into an emotive state of sadness or anger, but then some people begin something and forget about it or move on or just think that the ‘issue’ does not exist! While others want to evaluate, understand and then move on. Unfortunately, most of us get stuck in analyses paralyzes. Hold it, if you just repress the emotions, sooner or later all of it will blast out like an active volcano. So what can you do? Think what makes you happy? Do you have a dog? Play with it. Do you have beautiful children? Read them a story or play with them. Mimic them! Do you have a spouse/partner? Take them out. Surprise them. Go shopping. Do something! When your mind wants to feel sorry for itself, force yourself to think otherwise. Smile. Laugh. Watch stupid cartoons. Watch inspirational stuff. Go for a walk. Go out with friends. Exercise. Mediate. Write. Sleep. Do what makes you happy! I know most people feel happy by helping other people. Why, because then it transforms you from being a person who is negative and angry to being a person who is happy, serving and content.
Now the question is, what if the stress returns? The thing is, stress will always be there in every situation, in everyday life! Either you will generate it, or someone else around you might reflect it on you; intentionally or unintentionally. However, the truth is that it’s our reaction and attaching a negative meaning to it gives strength to negative feeling which leads to stress. We fuel it, we can stop it. After all, we are better than monkeys! 🙂