Committed: Insight into marriage and relationships

 Hey!

I have just finished reading another book.

Ever heard of Eat Love Pray. Yes, who hasn’t?

Well, I inspired by her first book, I went ahead and read Elizabeth Gilbert’s second book called “Committed.”

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Now, as usual, I will first go through the things I liked about the book and the things I did not like about the book.

Committed is a book  about the author’s (Elizabeth Gilbert) experience about how she did not want to marry (I should emphasize that she did not need to) but ended up marrying the man she loves. But the interesting twist in the book is how this happens. I especially like when the author uses the word ‘summoned to marry’. Yes, this is not your usual brand of ‘girl meets boy, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after!’. No. It’s not. 

The book highlights the author’s acceptance of what she needs to do, and ‘courage’ to be open, speak up and find about more marriage and how it is integrated into each society. I say courage because she is a skeptic and does not believe in marriage because of her past experiences. Honestly, I do not blame her! What is the ‘picture’ of marriage in our society? It has been glorified by movies, songs, romance novels, and most of all our expectations about what we will get out of it. None of us were ever told of what a relationship takes!

Okay over here, I should say I am a full supporter of love and marriage, but I am not the fan of fiction that revolves around it, although I am myself a fiction writer! I know, funny right! Therefore I liked this book. It is real. It is so real. The author’s talks with women about their ideas of marriage. And the fun part is the notions and beliefs are so different in every culture. This gives a more enlightening aspect of marriage and relationship. Which can be good, but also breaks your bubble about some things. Believe me, this book managed to challenge some of my thoughts about marriage, society and relationships.

Committed forces you to think about talking with your better half about your shortcomings, of what you can take and what you won’t or cannot take during your journey together. I feel this is very important. We are not very open with our spouses or better half. Especially in the beginning. We think “Oh that’s okay. We can talk about this later.” But no, somethings have to be clear before you enter a marriage or after you have become serious about living together. For instance, in the book the author is very careful with her money, mainly because her last man she married took it all! However, the man she is about to marry is carefree about money. On the other hand, she acknowledges her infidelity, and it scares her, while he is very very loyal in a relationship. So they acknowledge these things (they do not let it linger) and make a plan on how they could deal with it. Trust me, it’s a hard conversation but it pays off. I am not a very big fan of prenuptial agreements but I understand it might be needed.

Now, what I did not like about the book. Her book Eat Love Pray was very focused, very streamlined, all the stories and experiences she had included added up. Made sense. Made the book a fantastic read. Unfortunately, in Committed, you lose track of what is happening.

I found myself wondering, “Why did she include this?”

Another thing, except the two main characters, all the other characters/people felt non-vibrant. If compared to Eat Love Pray, you just cannot help but admire the toothless Ketut from Bali and I loved Richard from Texas! But here I found it difficult to connect!

Trust me, its a fun read when she is investigating, reporting these different views about women. When they laugh at her (I felt sorry for her and myself) for her believes and expectations around love and marriage. But later, it goes into the history of marriage, how and why it originated etc. I understand this added more to the reader’s knowledge. But here I think the author went too deep and I felt lost its charm. It needed more structure.

So, do I recommend this book? Absolutely yes. Why? It’s an interesting memoir for any one who wants to understand more about relationships and why somethings work while others do not. You and I can definitely learn a lot from her experiences! But due to the characters and unrelated aspects in the book, I do not enjoy it to the fullest! 

Happy blogging!

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