When you are good at something and you know it. You really want to get that job. You really want to write that book. But no one around you appears to notice or support you. They just put you in a box and think that is where you belong.
How do you deal with it? You do not get that job that you wanted. Your life turned out to be different than what you thought. What do you do? You have a few options – you could blame the other party and do nothing. Give up or you could keep going. Of course you guessed it I would say keep going.
Like everyone I am a student of failure. When I do not get what I aimed for I sit and think why? Was I not good enough – i mean did I lack any skills? Or I just wanted something because I wanted to get out of a situation. Did i act emotionally or strategically? Either way, you have admit that to your failures puts you in perceptive.
Of course when things go south you get upset, get emotional and want to cry. I recommend you to do it! Just cry it out. You are allowed to feel a bit low, unhappy. Its okay. But do not stay there. Move.
So what can we do-
First. Chalk out what you learned from the experience. Try to assess what could have been the reason for your failure? Do not shy away because this is where you will learn. In any situation if things go wrong, assessing them logically will always help you. For instance, If you found out that you did not get that job due to lack of a skill. You can develop it. If you were unprepared for an interview, make notes and over prepare the next time. Plan and make a strategy. Evaluate, what were your actually chances of succeeding – did you actually portray in your application what the employer needed.
Second– never stop. Once you have the things that you need to develop to the next level, develop them. Quickly. Fast. And make notes of everything. Go deep. Study and dork about it.
Third– expect failure or let down in the near future. When you are going for another level, expect that you are going to fall down. Staying at the same level and saying “Well I cant progress. I cant do better” is very easy but going out there and fighting for your dreams is difficult. Imagine you are climbing a mountain and you will encounter dangerous terrain. Keep climbing. Don’t stop. Don’t give up.
Fourth- Acceptance- It could happen that even after preparing really well you might not achieve your dream. Now this does not mean stop. You can certainly try different way of doing something. There is no point in continue to think that I should have done this, I should have done that and I should have said that. There is no point in holding on to the outcome you wanted. Life does not work that way. Accept and move on. This step is the most important and will actually make a lot of difference.
I hope this helps! Keep moving and never give up.